I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
