"it" just moved
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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