Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
