i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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