my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize