why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
