Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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