Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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