there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Acid is not a monday night drug
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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