Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
