Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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