I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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