Yo dont text me then not text me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
