so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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