tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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