i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
