somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
