Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
