The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
