It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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