I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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