talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
