Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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