dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
