Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
These tits shall not be calmed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
