Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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