SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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