that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
