just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
