The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
