that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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