i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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