At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
