Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
