Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
