I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
