All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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