If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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