Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.

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  (703): I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians. http://tfl.nu/fsi0
  Replies (8) Good night (1761) Bad night (465)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.

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  (330): I would have at least made out with you if you were showered. http://tfl.nu/yd8o
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (1851)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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  (915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la
  Replies (17) Good night (6539) Bad night (1798)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we turned his baptism video into a drinking game

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  (425): we turned his baptism video into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/gtee
  Replies (18) Good night (4478) Bad night (1295)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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  (845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol
  Replies (12) Good night (1193) Bad night (4021)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.

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  (937): Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream. http://tfl.nu/kpop
  Replies (8) Good night (1077) Bad night (2882)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

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  (513): Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything. http://tfl.nu/e1ys
  Replies (84) Good night (1968) Bad night (6820)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG

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  (304): The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG http://tfl.nu/so20
  Replies (7) Good night (1589) Bad night (663)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.

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  (709): By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco. http://tfl.nu/8qs4
  Replies (11) Good night (2253) Bad night (1482)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

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  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (1990) Bad night (846)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?

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  (717): What time do you think you'll be heterosexual? http://tfl.nu/40xd
  Replies (6) Good night (1203) Bad night (673)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.

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  (413): She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list. http://tfl.nu/zy3q
  Replies (5) Good night (519) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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  (928): i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice. http://tfl.nu/k07n
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime

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  (902): I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime http://tfl.nu/b6xy
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?

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  (412): What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar? http://tfl.nu/zns5
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (234)

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