clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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