Dual....:-)
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
