that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
