i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize