worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
