Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
