so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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