Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
