Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
