WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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