If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
