Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
