this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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