Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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