my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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