The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
