Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
