it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
