I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Terrible idea I love it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
