I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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