see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Four minutes until I can fart!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
