i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
