Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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