You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
