garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I want a musical about memes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
