just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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