We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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