Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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